The Barney Project
by Pink Lady
Summary: The HP characters and I go into the woods to kill barney. R/R please.


Authors Note: If any of you are wondering what happened to Hermione in the last fic she turned back to her normal self and so did all the other people who turned into chocolate by Candymort. If you want a sequel just say so in your reviews.

Disclaimer: All Hp characters belong to J.K Rowlings. Barney belongs to anyone who wants him; he's up for grabs. All of you should know I belong to my self. My friends Laura, Ali and Mia belong to themselves. Elvis the guinea pig with Elvis hair belongs to me.

My friends and I were in my room bored.

Mia: I'm bored.

Pink lady/me: Me two.

Laura: Me three.

Ali: No me three. 

L: me three

A; Me three

L: Me three

A: Me three

L: Me three

A: Me three

L: Me three

A: Me three

L: Me three

A: Me three

L: Me three

A: Me three

L: Me three

A: Me three

L: Me three

A: Me three

L: Me three

A: Me three

L: Me three

A: Me three

L: Me three

A: Me three

L: Me three

A: Me three

I get bored of their arguing. 

Me: stop it!

L: Okay.

M: What should we do?

Me: I have an idea. You know the cops wanted to arrest Barney but he escaped and ran to Blair forest.

L/A/M: Yeah!

Me: Well, we could go to Blair forest and hunt him down.

L/A/M: Okay!

A: Won't we need help?

Me: That's when Harry Ron and Hermione come in.

We disappear and appear in the Gryffindor common room. 

Harry: What are you doing here!?

M: Were on a mission!

L: To kill Barney!

Ron/Hermione/H: Fun! Can we help?

A: That's why we're here.

Hg; don't we need supplies?

Me: Already done.

Seven backpacks appear.

R: Lets go!

Me: Wait! We need a sacrifice… I mean victim… no that's not it… bait that's it! But who could it be.

Hp: Voldemort

Me: No he'll just join forces with Barney and kill us.

R: Snape

Me: He'll escape and try to expel you.

Hg: Malfoy

Me: He'll do the same thing.

L/M/A/R/Hp/Hg: Lockhart

Me: He'll do

We disappear and appear in Lockhart's room. 

Lockhart: Dear children, what are you doing here?

M: We need some help to destroy Barney!L: If you wont help us we will have to use the force!

Hg: Exactly what is the force?

L: I don't know I just felt like saying it. 

Gl: Dear children, of course I'll help.

Me: really, I thought you liked barney.

Gl: I used to in till one day he hugged me-

A: Who'd like to be hugged by barney?

Gl: I liked the hug, but he messed up my hair!

All: Okaaaaaaaay.

Hp: Lame answer.

Gl: Whats my position?

R: You're the b-

I cover Ron's mouth. 

Me: It's a surprise! 

Gl: Okay.

We disappear and appear in Blair forest.

Me: (A La Fred from Scooby Doo) Lets split up.

Hg: I know how we could choose teams. (Pulls out eight straws) You all know how it goes.

Gl: I don't.

All: (sigh) 

Hp: Why did we take him with us?

R: We can't say it in front of him.

Gl: Can't say what in front of me?

All: Nothing

Gl: Okay

Hg: Every one pick a straw. (Every one picks a straw.)

Harry, Lockhart, Laura and me had red straws. Hermione, Ron, Ali and Mia have blue straws.

L: That means I'm stuck with Lockhart. (Pouts)

Hg: Deal with it.

L: Okay.

A: Lets go.

We head in different directions. In my gr0up.

Me: Her are your positions, I'm captain, Laura is co-captain, Harry is assistant captain and Lockhart is tent setter.

L/Me/Hp: Yay!

Meanwhile in the other group.

A: I'm bored. 

M: Me two. 

Hg: Me three.

R: No, me three!

Hg: Me thr- Wait theres a smarter way to do this. Ron have you ever read Hogwarts a History.

R: Yes. 

Hg: Liar! (Hits Ron with Hogwarts a History continually) 

R: Ouch! (Faints)

A: Where did that book come from?

Hg: I don't know. I win the argument! Me three!

R: (wakes up) Me four.

In my group.

L: Theres someone ahead.

In the other group

M: Theres someone ahead.

Both groups meet.

Me: We all walked in circles.

Hp: It's getting dark; we better start setting up camp.

Me: Theres a tent in Harry's backpack and theres one in Ali's. Lockhart will set up camp.

L: I don't think it's a good idea to let Lockhart do that alone.

Me: Okay Hermione, Harry and Ron will help. 

Hg/Hp/R: What!

L/A/M: You heard her!

Hg/HP/R: Okay! 

Hermione, Harry, Ron and Lockhart started to set up the tents. The rest of us gathered sticks for the fire.

After a half hour. 

All: Done!

M: Lets start making dinner.

We start a fire and start roasting hotdogs. We talk a little and finally the hotdogs were done.

All: (Eating hotdogs) yum. (Keep eating) yum. 

We finished eating.

A: Marshmallows! (Pulls out marshmallows)

All: Yum!

We roast Marshmallows

Hp: Lets tell scary stories.

Me: Me first!Okay this is called I don't know what its called.The tellietubbies kidnapped this girl and turned her into a telietubie. Well she was so upset that she thought she was a tellietubie. That's how Lu-Lu the blue tellietubie was born! She did everything the tellietubie way, until one day she turned into a girl again. She went to the tellietubbies laboratory and took out the tellie death gun. It kills all telletubbies. 

R: Why would they make a gun that kills them?

Me: Because they're stupid! As I was saying, Lu-Lu shot the tellietubies and they died! They all lived happily ever after.

All: Yay!

Gl: Lets sing a song. 

All: No!

L: It's my turn to tell a scary story!(Starts story) One night four girls were roasting marshmallows. Then something terrifying happened, they ran out of marshmallows!

Me/L/M/A: Aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Hg: What's so scary about that?

All: I don't know.

R: Its getting late lets go to bed.

All: Okay. (Girls go towards one tent)

Hp: What a minute I have to be in the same tent as Lockhart.

M: Deal with it.

Every one goes in their tents. The boy's tent is an ordinary tent. The girl's tent is like the tent from the Goblet fire. We all lie down on our bunk beds.

Hg: (Reads book)

Me: (Turns light off)

Hg: Hey I was reading!

L/M/A/Me: Time for bed!

Hg: (Turns it on)

L: Off!

Hg: On!

M: Off!

Hg: On! 

A: Off!

Hg: On!

Me: Off!

This goes on for an hour. 

Hg: (Falls asleep)

It is morning now.

All: (Go outside)

Hp: What's that?

All HP character: AAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AN2: A cliffhanger! My first one. I'm going to write the second part, but we will need some help so if you'd like to be in the second part e-mail me at [sabina@chorus.net][1]. You have to be an author at ff.net to be in it. Answer the following questions Do you like pink? Are you sane? Do you like humor fics? Please describe yourselve in your e-mail. 

   [1]: mailto:sabina@chorus.net



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